College Women, Buckle Your SeatBelts


Walking around a Midwestern college campus, a couple of thoughts roll through my brain:

#1: Dear Lord, all of these women are so fit!
#2: Just wait, honey.
It's like, even in the dress-down style that exists nowhere else in America, where sweatpants are To Be Expected, here college women seem to Have It All: intelligence, a future, toned bodies, and the relaxed-I-Want-To-Have-Fun-Embrace-The-Day mentality.
The perfect woman, right?
Except I see in their superpower their descent as well,  and it's not as impressive. It's better, but less glamorous.
A person I once dated remarked to me, "My dad says that once women get married, they change."
At the time, I was thinking, "Man, your parents must not have a happy relationship. "
Now, I'm thinking: Well, yes. Uh huh . Of course, dude!
I mean, wouldn't you change if you took a thousand more responsibilities, two thousand more details to manage daily, and none of these to do with your own personal, physical, or professional advancement? The world of Taking Care of One's Self and Taking Care of Others are dramatically different.
And I haven't even started to get to the Baby Phase, where female bodies bend and buckle and waddle as they bring new life into this world. And then once that life has entered, Dear Lord and Thank the Lord and Lord have Mercy, you better believe your body is going to change.
To address the change in attitude, to say I become 100% more neurotic and 100% more balanced and focused would be an understatement. And these are only two 100% of all the changes and upswings and downswings.
Honey, there will be swings.
So I propose a class, online maybe to reach the masses, to educate young men and women frolicking around in body-flattering sweats and toe-revealing sandals and breathing in long satisfied breaths of self- advancement.
The class will be called: They Will Change, and it's about how students and parents are two dramatically different species, and that we should all expect all these changes, expect that college-looks and self-assured attitudes will not Be For All Time.
The class will end every session with a "It gets better, folks. It all get harder, but it all gets better."
And then men and women will know, at the very least, that the person they met in college will not  be the same person after the chuppah and the baby carriage.  They will change, but with your support, they can be even better.
Buckle your seat belts.