The other day, my husband and I went out to this very posh restaurant near us, sat down, and did we do any time we go to a very posh restaurant- buy the cheapest thing on the menu and enjoy each other’s company while pretending to be fabulously rich and pretending not to people-watch the assorted posed frummies on their shidduch dates.
This particular posh date, we were enjoying a big barrel of beer imported straight from NEW YORK, and the discussion turned to Facebook. Turns out, we had both taken a break from our social media habits that day ( and yes, I did consult the omer calendar, and couldn’t seem to find any correlation).
My husband, being an online marketer, disclosed to me that FB hires people whose JOB it is to make Facebook addicting. Something about that got to me. I sling around this idea that FB is addictive, but when you hear that someone’s job is to make it addictive… I decided I would not be had. At least for a little while. Then I would go back to being had and pretending that I didn’t know about it.
A few things about my personal FB relationship had been bothering me recently:
#1- Whenever I would go running, my mind would be busy formulating what clever insight I was going to share on FB next. I actually started counting numbers while running so that I could get my mind off my thoughts, and my running improved. I found I had a greater difficulty than I remembered letting go of thoughts and not being distracted. Sometimes, I found myself just stopping from running, in the midst of a thought! Unusual. FB related? Not sure. Could be motherhood related. But the whole wanting to think of clever things so that I could share it on FB felt like I was somehow selling out and not living my own private life, not experiencing things just to experience them within.
#2- I was always checking my notifications to see how many people thought that I , my latest picture, or my latest comment was awesome. Something about that felt weird to me; this deep impulse and urge to have other people externally show that they think I’m awesome.
#3- I would go on FB whenever I felt I needed a break from life, but it never rejuvenated me and left me feeling usually still discombobulated, I had just forgotten whatever stressor had pushed me to go on FB. I also felt I wasn’t really addressing the stressor in the best way possible.
So it’s been a week. And things are fine. I feel like my mind is a little clearer, I can think a little more straight. Honestly, I don’t miss it. I still have messenger and FB groups if needed, and I still post articles I find interesting. Like this one! Except I will have NO IDEA how many people think I'm AWESOME because I wrote it. I will have NO IDEA how many comments were made. I will have NO IDEA if someone wrote in the comment section : " I think you're the most amazing writer and painter who ever lived and you make my life worth living " (please someone, write that). So it goes.
I feel that my life is a little quieter, my mind is a little more rooted within, and a little more peacefulness has entered my life.
Is this the end? Will I swear of FB completely? Nah. Who knows, maybe I’ll be back next week.
To be continued…………