Reflections on Shindler's List, Tisha Baav and BEyond

Face in shocked fright, scurrying to and fro,
Dark hair,pale skin, worried yet pious, here and yet somewhere else,higher and deeper,
normal yet different
These are my people.
Real,yet caricatures,I find myself amongst them
I feel my bones start to shake,
Terror and mass 

This is my story.
It has been beaten into my blood,
It is the fabric and makeup of the bones the push against my fat,skin, and nerves to propel me forwards
My mother's mother walked these roads
Saw these sights
my mother's mother was shaved,pushed,commanded,
stood shaking,obediant, never knowing tomorrow,
My mother's father too
This is my blood
these are my people
To know my story you must know this.

I reflect on the bond I feel with these black and white imaged people, family of thousands,millions,
as I step out in the still huid air, sunlight on my face,
as they pass me on the street, 
60 +years later.
They look the same, I look the same,
yet we are free.

And the Israeli youth,
with their golden skin,shining proud eyes and soul,
suddenly I feel they cannot relate
Them in Geula, me in Golus
They are of a different bone, a different legion,
they from freedom, us from elslavement.

And yet, 
when I see the relgious soul on the street,here in America,
pale,dark skin, 
bound in chains and clothes and furtive, unsure steps,
or with too strong dogmatic resolutions,
uncertainty resting on their shoulders,
pressure and fear chaining them down,
lilke we were chained long ago,
I look at them discerningly from a distance of 50 ft and 20 years:
Who are thee people? I am not one of them.

And the ISraeli youth,with their embracing arms and warm thoughts,
this is my Truth I realize as I join their side, this is my Life, this is who I really Am.
The truth-
I am part Golus
I am partially Geula
Golus,is my past (Geula my past before I had a past)
but it is also the greatest impetus for my future
My Golus grinds against my  Geula, 
its fierce,stubbled nicks shaving my own personal redemption (and our redemption) into stronger and stronger metal powerhouses, more focused,certain vision
I am half Israeli
I am partially European
I am a war hero, a battered but still standing survivor,  
I have seen it all and I am also untouched,
pure virgin spirit with shining eyes and a good,clear heart
I  am Golus
I am Geula
These are both my people.