We Get Better
for each of my two pregnancies, I had a naggy uncomfortable though wagging in the back of my brain : is this, this pregnancy, this birth, this baby going to weigh me down sot that i wont be able to advance in my career goals and dreams? i shared this fear with few, as it's implications seemed drastically selfish: was i really weighing bringing another being into the world with a few minutes of glory and name recognition ( as well as an inner feeling of accomplishment and progress of course?) the thought did not drag me down immensely, and eventually would disapate slightly throughout the 10 months in which the fetuz grew and took on a life of its own. in addition, both times i would use all excess energy i had to push myself to advance as quick as i could in my painterly and artistic pursuits until the Day Came.