Maternal Perfection

a delicate balance act is the life of a mother
for years,a singlet, what disd i eat? scurrying from one activity to the next,fufilling my purpose or crowning  some achievement or just trying, i rushed around
years later, my husband would be the one to teach me how to make a salad and cook chicken (put it in the oven he would instruct, just throw some sauce on top)
how did i not know this? how did i physically live? i do not know, but i was ambitoius,and driven,and life progressed
at a certain point,however, i realized this could no longer be
all this rushing around, without concern for my physical health,would take a toll on  my family,my child,my pregnant self
"but what about my career? " i would inwardly wail, whata bout accomplishments?
what about perfection? i was really asking. when will i  be perfect,complete? when will I have Made it?
and as pregnancy descends,and the kicking beccomes closer and stronger
and a life rests upon my  physical decsions,my choices to take care of myself, i make a decision,resolute, almost subconcious.
bowing down to the Perfecton that already exists wthin
seeing it for the first time in clear light,as I waddle around.

and so I allow 
others to"pass me by"
i allow my accomplishments to come slower and with more space in between
and i focus on that which receives no glory but is Glory itself
the continuation of existance
the blossoming of reality
for letting go of my own stride for achievement lets me see that just in being,in breathng, he and I and we 
are Perfect already
a heavenly body
a heavenly sphere