Ashkenazic Guilt Trip
I don't think of myself as a stay at home mom, though I do consider it to be a worthy and admirable occupation. I wouldn't call myself a working woman, because I have no boss except the Big Boss and I don't bring home any money. Rather, I think of myself as a mom who does a lot if projects to try and affect her life and the world.
I enjoy being at home, I enjoy leaving the home. I love being able to form and create my own schedule and to put whatever needs to be put on hold in the case of a child's sickness or special occasion that we call life. Did I mention how great it is not to have to submit authority to a male boss?
However, this particular post denominational affiliation has its confusing elements. Like,for example, how much help can I get around be house without feeling guilty? How much help can a stay at home mom receive so that she can devote herself to other activities other than cleaning ? For a working woman obviously needs someone to look after her children and cook and clean and is "entitled" to it as she is making "money". But for a SAHM, it seems complicated.
Now, with a baby, a very smart woman had an interesting demand when I came to her utterly exhausted, anxious, and overwhelmed. She declared resolutely -"you need help! Three hour a day until your baby is three months!"
"But... But.. I sputtered, resisting. " I'm Not "working". How can I justify getting help?"
"Ashkenazic Jewish guilt trip!" She roared like a true Sephardic woman.
And she was right. My life changed.
How many woman have similar guilt issues with getting help, I wonder.